Lol! Goldenrod's return has reminded me even more of the good old days and I decided to post these again. A mix between "Axem Records" and "The Three Stooges" has to be the most n00bish thing I have ever done... in public. :) Enjoy.
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The story begins at Axem Blue's mansion.
Axem Green wakes up in his bedroom, the sun shining upon him from his window.
GREEN: No... i... it can't be...
A bird tweets from the window outside.
GREEN: Could it be?
The bird tweets again.
GREEN: Could it?
The bird tweets a third time.
Axem Green leaps out from the covers and his feet land on the bed.
GREEN: IT IS! IT'S HALLOWEEN! I LOVE HALLOWEEN! YIPPEE!
He speeds out of his room and slides down the hall, running into the balcony of Axem Blue's foyer and leaping off towards the chandelier.
He grabs the chandelier and swings wildly around the room.
GREEN: YIPPEE! YIPPEE! I LOVE HALLOWEEN! I LOVE IT! IT'S MY FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR! HOOOOO-WEE!
A grumpy Axem Blue runs into the room through the upstairs doorway and runs downstairs to grab Green by the legs.
BLUE: GET DOWN FROM THERE! GET DOWN FROM THERE, YOU NITWIT!
He pulls tightly on Green's legs and finally pries his fingers loose from the chandelier.
GREEN: WHOA!
BLUE: Oof!
Green falls down right into Blue and knocks him on his back. He quickly climbs off of an angry Blue and stands up.
Axem Blue growls and gets back on his feet. He stares at Green right in the eyes and smacks him in the forehead three times.
BLUE: You idiot! What was that spectacle all about?!
GREEN: (crying) Wahhhhh! You hit me! Wahhhhh!
BLUE: Are you crying because I hit you? Hitting you is not pain! This... is pain!
Axem Blue reaches into Green's mouth and grabs his tongue, stretching it out like it's elastic.
GREEN: Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
Green pokes Blue in the eyes, causing him to let go of his tongue.
BLUE: Argh! Grrrrr!
Blue pokes Green in the eyes, kindly returning the favor.
BLUE: Now, stop acting like a crybaby and tell me what that spectacle was about.
GREEN: Wokay. Wi.. Wi woke up and I swaw the sunshwine and knew that wit was Hallow-ween-
BLUE: Halloween? You imbecile! It is May 28th! It is not even close to Halloween!
Green gasps in surprise.
GREEN: Wit's not? Twen why did wi tink it wis?
BLUE: Because you are an idiot.
He smacks Green on the back of the head, just as the front door bursts open.
An angry Axem Cobalt storms inside, followed by her full-time weirdo brother Axem Goldenrod.
Cobalt and Goldenrod are Blue's neighbors, who happen to live in the mansion next door.
COBALT: BLUE! WE NEED TO TALK!
BLUE: (sighing) Oh, geez...
Cobalt reaches into her purse and pulls out an empty beer can.
COBALT: Your brother has been tossing his beer cans outside of his window and into my yard again! BLUE! I told you that I would not stand for this!
GREEN: Hey! I'll have you know that I have never drinken before in my life! Well... except for non-alcoholic beverages, anyway-
BLUE: Not you. She is talking about our other brother, you idiot.
GREEN: (scratches his forehead) What other brother?
BLUE: AXEM ORANGE!
GREEN: (eyes light up) Oh yeah!
COBALT: I have told you a thousand times to control that obnoxious brother of yours, Blue! If you can't control him after this, then I'll make sure that my attorney will!
BLUE: Madam, you are going to need your attorney to sew those men with the harpoons.
COBALT: Ooh! Well I- GOLDENROD! HIT HIM!
Goldenrod jerks himself out of his happy daydream.
GOLDENROD: Wh-what?
COBALT: HIT HIM, GOLDENROD!
GOLDENROD: What?! And ruin a nail?
Goldenrod looks at the nails on his right hand in admiration.
COBALT: Ooh! You useless-
A happy Green walks behind Cobalt and stops.
GREEN: Well, Goldilocks, even though your sister's personality could use with some work, she's sure got one sassy butt!
He swats her hard in the butt.
COBALT: OOH!
Goldenrod grins.
GOLDENROD: Yup! She sure does!
Goldenrod also swats her in the butt.
COBALT: OOH!
Cobalt growls and reaches into her purse, pulling out two frying pans and bashing them both on their heads.
GREEN and GOLDENROD: OWW-WEE!
BLUE: Enough! Nobody hits my brother except for me!
Blue lunges forward and tackles Cobalt to the floor.
COBALT: OOH! GET OFF OF ME, YOU... OAF!
She kicks Blue hard in the stomach, pushing him back into a wall.
BLUE: Grrrrr!
Gasping for breath, Cobalt climbs back to her feet.
COBALT: I... take umbrage... I take... severe umbrage... Come on, Goldenrod... Let's go...
GOLDENROD: You're the boss, sis!
The two axems walk back to the front door and go outside.
Cobalt suddenly comes back in.
COBALT: By the way, Blue, as punishment for your brother's behavior, I have donated one-thousand dollars in your name to the 'National Organization for Man-Hating Feminists'. (starts singing) I am woman, hear me roar...
BLUE: (covers his ears) Argh!
Cobalt closes the front doors and her singing finally disappears from hearing range a few seconds later.
BLUE: Speaking of our delinquent brother, Green, where is he?
GREEN: Oh, him? *nervous laugh* He decided to go driving drunk last night and party in the town.
He backs away from Blue, knowing what's about to come.
BLUE: AAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGHHH!!!!!!!!!
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NOTE: Before we continue the story, you should know more about the three brothers. Blue is the oldest brother. Green is the middle brother and Orange is the youngest one.
NOTE (continued): Also, Orange is currently in the fifth grade. Don't make a mistake about him because he's small. He really is an adult axem, but he is also really dumb and has never graduated from the fifth grade after all these years, so that's why he's still there. What's that? How did the other two brothers graduate? Well..... I don't think I know that one..... Anyway...
ORANGE: Ulllll...
Axem Orange wakes up in a strange bed inside of a strange house, his head throbbing from a hangover. He looks down at himself, seeing that he's wearing a fancy suit of some kind.
ORANGE: Where am I? What am I wearing? How did I- Wait!
He rubs his hands over his eyes, horrified.
ORANGE: My shades! I don't have my shades!
VOICE: Welcome back, sugar. I hope I didn't wear you out last night.
Orange looks straight ahead and sees a really fat azure-skinned axem female standing at the foot of the bed.
ORANGE: HOLY!- I- (gasp) MY EYES! DON'T LOOK AT MY EYES!
FAT FEMALE AXEM: Oh, baby! I'm going to give you some sugar!
ORANGE: NO! NO! N-
The fat female axem jumps in the air and lands on the bed, causing Orange to fly through the air where his suit gets caught in a spinning ceiling fan.
ORANGE: AAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
He spins and spins around the room until his suit finally slips free and he flies and crashes through the window.
ORANGE: AAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Orange continues to fly out of the woman's yard and crashes into a neighbor's swimming pool.
Just as a soaking wet Axem Orange climbs out of the pool, the back door to the house opens and Jamey comes out carying a rifle.
JAMEY: Git te flamin' heck off of me property, you furry flamin' yokels!
BANG!
Orange screams like a little girl and uses his amazing speed to escape from the property.
