Axem Orange dashes onto the driveway of Blue's mansion. His left hand covers his eyes so that nobody can see them and his right hand pours a can of beer down his throat.
He quickly empties the can and tosses it away where it lands in Cobalt's yard.
He bursts in through the front doors of the mansion.
Blue storms out from the living room, followed by Green.
BLUE: WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN, YOUNG MAN?! DO YOU KNOW HOW WORRIED SICK WE HAVE BEEN?! YOU COULD HAVE BEEN LAYING DEAD IN A DITCH! WHY I OUGHT TO-
ORANGE: Save it, bro! I don't have my shades anymore! I have to go upstairs and grab a spare! Don't look in my eyes!
Orange starts to speed up the stairs, but Blue opens his mouth and uses his wind power to suck him back down.
The suction pulls Orange straight to Blue who grabs him by the wrist.
BLUE: Do not look into your eyes, huh? This is my mansion and I will look in your eyes whenever I want to! *pokes Orange in the eyes*
Green walks over and pounds his fist on Blue's head, forcing him to release Orange.
kicks Green in the left leg*GREEN: OW! *hops on one foot*
BLUE: Yeah. Who do you think you are? *kicks Green in the other leg*
GREEN: OHH! *falls down and bites Orange in the ankle*
ORANGE: YI! YI! YI! YI! YI!
Green bites Blue in the ankle.
BLUE: GARRRRR!!!
Both Blue and Orange lift Green back to his feet and grab him by the mouth, twisting it hard.
GREEN: MMMMM!!!
Ding dong!
The brothers stop their quarrelling.
GREEN: Doorbell!
BLUE: I know that is the doorbell, you knucklehead! *bangs his fist on Green's head*
GREEN: OW!
Blue walks to the front door and mutters about rude people disturbing him when he's quarrelling with his brothers.
He opens the door to find a Fed Ex man carrying a package.
FED EX MAN: Fed Ex. We have a package for this residence. *hands Blue the box*
BLUE: Your service is much appreciated, sir. Thank you very much. My brother Axem Orange will handle your tip.
Blue walks away from the door and Orange walks over to the Fed Ex Man, closing the door in his face.
GREEN: Who would send a package to us?
BLUE: *growling* Well if I knew that then it would not be a mystery, now would it? Think, Green! *slaps Green on the head*
GREEN: OW! Geez, man.
Blue unties the package and opens it up.
A strange white gas floats out of the box and into the room.
BLUE: Hmm? What strange substance is this?
ORANGE: *yawn* Who cares? I don't... wanna take a chemistry lesson... outside of schooool... *yawn*
BLUE: *growls* You stupid lazy bum. *yawn* Why I ought to *yawn*... I ought to...
GREEN: Um, Blue? *yawn*... I think *yawn*... I think this is sleeping gas. *yawn* We've got..... We've got to close it...
ORANGE: Must..... get..... shades..... Zzzzzzz.....
Orange falls asleep to the floor.
GREEN: Bluuue... close it... close the box...
Green falls to his knees and yawns. His eyelids become heavier and heavier.
BLUE: Why? *yawn* I like... the color... of this gas *yawn*.....
GREEN: Zzzzzzz.....
Green collapses to the floor and snoozes.
BLUE: So..... drowsy.... Sooo..... drooowzzzy...
Blue sticks his head inside the box and sniffs in the fumes.
BLUE: Ahhhhhhhhh... Zzzzzzz...
Blue falls asleep to the floor.
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The three axems groan and wake up inside of the attic.
GREEN: What the? How did we get here?
Green tries to stand up, but can't as he realizes that he's chained to a chair.
In fact, all three of the axems are chained to a chair and are lined up next to each other.
A sinister laughter fills the room.
The brothers look ahead and see Axem Wizard with his servant Fast standing next to him.
WIZARD: Hello, cousins!
BLUE: Hellooo!
BLUE and GREEN: Hellooo!
BLUE, GREEN, and ORANGE: Hellooooo! Hello!
Wizard clonks his staff on all three of their heads.
WIZARD: Shut up, you idiots! Can't you see that you're chained in bondage?! You're supposed to resent me, not say hello! OOH! *clonks his staff on their heads again*
BLUE: Wizard! I should have known that it was you! Only YOU could have come up with something so diabolical!
ORANGE: Yeah!
GREEN: What's a diabolical?
WIZARD: Shut up! *clonks his staff on Green's head*
FAST: Axem Fast says it's sure a relief to see somebody else get the punishment!
WIZARD: Shut up! *clonks his staff on Fast's head*
FAST: Axem Fast says, "Ow!"
BLUE: What do you want... Wizard?
WIZARD: What I want, Blue, is what I've always wanted...
Wizard slides a pair of shades over Orange's eyes.
ORANGE: Hey! Thanks, man!
WIZARD: Shut up! *clonks his staff on Orange's head*
ORANGE: OW!
Wizard walks to Blue.
WIZARD: You've always been the lucky one, Blue. You've always been the rich one and I've always been the poor one. And do you know why?
BLUE: Perhaps because I am better than you?
GREEN: Hehehe! Hey! That's funny! Good one, Blue!
WIZARD: Grrr! Shut up! *clonks his staff on both their heads* The only reason you're richer than me is because Grandpa always liked you better than me! He only gave you part of his fortune instead of me because he was just choosing favorites! I- *sobs* IT'S NOT FAIR! *starts crying*
Axem Fast rushes to Wizard's side and pats him on the shoulder.
FAST: Axem Fast says, "There, there, Axem Wizard."
ORANGE: Um, could somebody get a mop? Cuz' this cry fest is kinda lame.
WIZARD: Shut up! *clonks staff on Orange's head* WHY, BLUE?! WHY DID GRANDPA ALWAYS LIKE YOU BETTER THAN ME?!
BLUE: Because you are a crazy nut job and I am not?
GREEN: Haha! Good one, Blue!
WIZARD: SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!
He clonks his staff on both their heads.
WIZARD: Well the show ends here, dear cousin! Because even though you may have Grandpa's favor and you may have his money, I am going to kill you, kill your brothers, and take the money all for myself! And do you know how I'm going to kill you?
ORANGE: By boring us to death?
GREEN: Hey! That's funny! Good one, Orange!
WIZARD: SHUT UP! *clonks his staff on both their heads*
ORANGE: OW! What? That was a serious question.
WIZARD: Grrr! NO! I am going to torture you to death!
ORANGE: Boredom counts as torture...
This time, Wizard manages to ignore Orange and he bends down to have his face only inches away from Blue's.
WIZARD: And you, dear cousin... I am going to take such PLEASURE in torturing you.
BLUE: No. The p*spit*leasure is ALLLL MINE.
An angry Wizard wipes the spit off of his face, then looks at Blue in confusion at what he just said.
Axem Wizard's staff disappears and two video tapes appear in his hands.
WIZARD: Now, which would you rather watch? The one where Barney teaches little Tommy the wonders of magic, and more importantly, the true meaning of friendship? Or the one where Barney goes on a vision quest and ends up meeting Mr. Turkey Bear?
The three axems gasp.
BLUE, GREEN, and ORANGE: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Wizard sneers.
WIZARD: Oh yes, I agree. I think that I've been too KIND with you.
The two video tapes vanish from his hands to be replaced by a third, more terrifying tape.
WIZARD: I think it's time to give you boys a real treat. You boys are going to watch... "Tea Time With Mandy".
BLUE, GREEN, and ORANGE: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
Wizard slips the tape into the VCR, then he and Fast leave the room and close the door.
WIZARD: Excellent. It should be only minutes before their brains melt into oblivion. Heheheheheheheheheh.
FAST: Axem Fast says, "But 'Tea Time With Mandy'? Isn't that a little harsh, Axem Wizard?"
WIZARD: SHUT UP! *clonks his staff on Fast's head* Nothing is too harsh for them! Nothing! They stole my life, Fast! They stole my life! *starts crying*
Fast pats his hand on Wizard's shoulder.
FAST: Axem Fast says, "There, there, Axem Wizard."
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The three brothers watch the screen with their eyes wide in horror as the ditsy blonde Mandy appears.
MANDY: Hello, boys! I'm Mandy! And today we're going to have TEEEEEEEEEAAA!!!
Mandy waves a magical wand and dozens of magical bubbles appear.
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The scene changes out to the driveway where an angry Cobalt marches towards the mansion carrying another can of beer in her hand.
Her brother Axem Goldenrod runs after her.
GOLDENROD: Wait up, sis! Wait up!
COBALT: I have had it with these axems, Goldenrod! I told them that if Orange tossed another beer can into my yard that I would sew! And sewing is just what I'm going to do! KEEP UP WITH ME, GOLDENROD! YOU MISERABLE TWIT!
Cobalt approaches the front door...
