Bzap!
A pig tackles a butcher that's about to axe his brother pig.
WIZARD: Boooooring!
Bzap!
A male and female koopa stand on a bridge, singing in a classic musical.
WIZARD: Boooooring!
Bzap!
Flipping through the channels on TV, Axem Wizard is leaning back on one of the couches in Blue's living room.
An old black-and-white episode of "I Love Lucy T." is playing on the screen.
WIZARD: Boooooring!
He points his finger at the screen and the channel changes again.
Bzap!
Axem Windbreaker appears on the screen with two sock puppets on his hands. One is of a penguin and the other is of a monkey.
WINDBREAKER: Hey, kids! Welcome to another show of "Axem Windbreaker and His Adorable Little Puppets"! And you know our motto... "Learning is Fun!"
MONKEY PUPPET: Learning is fun? Pssh! What a geek this guy is, eh Penguin?
PENGUIN PUPPET: Yeah. A real geek-o.
A little blue bird flies over their heads and lands on a tree branch, then starts to tweet.
WINDBREAKER: What's that, Mr. Blue Bird? *gasp* You want to hear Uncy Windbreaker sing?
MONKEY PUPPET: Oh God...
WINDBREAKER: Oh, no. I couldn't. I couldn't do that now. Oh no sirree bob.
PENGUIN PUPPET: And thank God for that.
The little blue bird tweets again.
Windbreaker chuckles.
WINDBREAKER: Ah, shucks. If you really want to hear me sing that badly, then I guess I've just gotta!
MONKEY and PENGUIN PUPPETS: NOOOOO!
Axem Windbreaker clears his throat.
WINDBREAKER: (singing) Row, row, row your boat! Gently down the stream! Merrily! Merrily! Merrily! Merrily! Life is such a- Sing along, puppets! Row, row, row your boat! Gently down the-
MONKEY PUPPET: We've got a better idea, Mr. Dunce.
PENGUIN PUPPET: Have a headache!
The penguin puppet bangs a mallet on Windbreaker's head.
WINDBREAKER: Owwwww! (cutesy voice) Now that wasn't very nice, Mr. Penguin. Now what do we saaay?
PENGUIN PUPPET: Have a migraine!
He bangs his mallet on Windbreaker's head again.
MONKEY and PENGUIN PUPPETS: Eh-heh! Heh! Heh! Heh! Heh! Heh! Heh! Heh! Heh! Heh! Heh! Hehhhhh!
They both slap each other a high five.
Wizard leans back on the couch with a smile on his face.
WIZARD: I love this show! Those little puppets would make such perfect man-slaves for my barbies! Hey, Fast! Is this a great show, or what?
Axem Fast sits on the cushion next to Wizard.
FAST: Axem Fast says, "Zzzzzzzzzzzzz....."
WIZARD: WAKE UP, SLEEPY HEAD!
He clonks his staff on Fast's head.
FAST: Axem Fast says, "Ow!" Axem Fast is awake! Axem Fast is awake!
WIZARD: Why do you always have to say your name?! Even when you're asleep you say "Axem Fast"! It's so annoying! *clonks his staff on Fast's head again*
FAST: Axem Fast says, "Ow!" Axem Fast is sorry!
Just then, they hear the front doors burst open.
COBALT: ALL RIGHT, BLUE! THIS IS THE LAST STRAW! I WARNED YOU THAT YOU'D BETTER MAKE YOUR BROTHER STOP THROWING HIS BEER CANS IN MY YARD!
She violently tosses the beer can to the floor.
GOLDENROD: Sheesh, sis. Calm down! I'm sure we can work this out peacefully.
COBALT: OH SHUT UP, GOLDENROD!
Axem Wizard is frozen in his place.
WIZARD: That voice... I would know it anywhere! Do you know who that is, Fast?
FAST: Axem Fast says, "Yeah! That's Axem Goldenrod! Axem Fast's old childhood friend!"
WIZARD: Not him, you idiot! *clonks his staff on Fast's head* I'm talking about Cobalt! The love of my life... At long last, I am finally going to make her my bride! *greedily grins and rubs his hands together* Heh! Heh! Heh! Heh! Heh!
COBALT: I HEAR YOUR VOICES IN THERE! I'M COMING IN, BLUE!
Axem Cobalt storms into the room, followed by Goldenrod.
Axems Wizard and Fast stand up and spin around to face Cobalt.
WIZARD: Hellooooo, sweetie! Woof!
Cobalt gasps and staggers back.
COBALT: You...
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Axem Gold continues to float through the sky in his air balloon.
He finishes another can of beer and tosses it down.
GOLD: Oh, life in the sky is so relaxing. In fact, I'm having so much fun that I'm never leaving! At least... not until the beer runs out. Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah!- Ooh... These bugs have got to stop flying into my mouth. What, do they think it's a circus in there? *opens up another can of beer and drinks away*
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"Tea Time With Mandy" continues to play on the screen.
MANDY: UPSY! UPSY! DAISY! DOWWWN! YAAAAY! *claps like a maniac*
BLUE: Ullllllll.....
Blue sits chained to his chair in a very weak state now.
BLUE: I cannot... take too much more of this... Brothers... can you still hear..... my voice?
GREEN: I'm dying, Blue..... Going to..... die...
BLUE: Orange..... how are you... holding up?
The two axems wait for a response.
BLUE: Orange?
GREEN: Orange?
Orange sits motionless in his chair, his eyes staring blankly at the screen.
BLUE: Oh no... He is..... almost..... gone...
Green becomes motionless as well.
BLUE: Green?
Suddenly, Blue's mind starts to feel even more cloudy.
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The scene changes back to Cobalt and Goldenrod in the same room with Wizard and Fast.
FAST: Axem Fast says, "Hey there, Goldenrod! Long time no see!"
GOLDENROD: Hey there old Fast, my man! How's the mowin' goin'?
WIZARD: (to Fast) SHUT UP! *clonks staff on his head*
FAST: Axem Fast says, "Ow!"
COBALT: (to Goldenrod) SHUT UP! *smashes her purse on his head*
GOLDENROD: Axem Goldenrod- I mean... Ow!
Wizard turns his attention back to Cobalt and pants like a hungry dog.
WIZARD: Oh, Cobalt! You have no idea how lonely it's been without you! But finally, fate has united us!
COBALT: NO! Stay away from me, you freak! Haven't you figured out by now that I hate you?!
WIZARD: Oh, sweetie-pums! You always look so adorable when you're mad! Give me a hug, schnookielumps!
COBALT: I wouldn't hug you if you were the last disgusting male on earth!
WIZARD: Hug! Hug! Hug! Hug! Hug! Hug! Hug! Hug! Hug!
Axem Wizard runs towards Cobalt with his arms outstretched and his lips smooching the air.
COBALT: AAAHHHHHHHHH!!! *smashes her purse on his head*
WIZARD: Oof! *falls to the floor*
FAST: Axem Fast screams, "Axem Wizard!"
GOLDENROD: Good one, sis!
Fast runs over to Wizard to help him up, who instead clonks his staff on his head.
FAST: Axem Fast says, "Ow!"
WIZARD: *standing up* What do you have in that thing? Bricks?
COBALT: Actually, yes. To help beat away creeps like you!
WIZARD: Creep?! I'll never believe that's all that you think of me!
COBALT: Well it is all that I think of you! And what are you doing here, anyway?! I thought that Blue forbade you from ever coming back!
WIZARD: *grins* He did. But Fast and I here broke into his mansion, knocked out him and his brothers and chained them up in the attic where they are currently suffering a long and grueling death.
COBALT: WHAT?! YOU FIEND! As much as I really dislike those three, I cannot let you kill them! I demand that you go up there right now and release them!
WIZARD: No! They deserve to die! I would never release them even for you, lemmekins! And if you and your brother decide to release them yourselves, I'm afraid that Fast and I are going to have to fight you.
FAST: Axem Fast says, "Axem Fast and Axem Wizard do?"
WIZARD: Quiet, you! *clonks his staff on Fast's head*
FAST: Axem Fast says, "Ow!"
GOLDENROD: What are we going to do, sis?
Cobalt quivers in terrible fear, for she knew that she and Goldenrod could never take out Wizard and Fast. Therefore, there is only one thing that she can do to save the three brothers.
COBALT: Wizard... if you were to set Axem Blue and his brothers free, then I'll... *sobs*... I'LL MARRY YOU!
Wizard, Fast, and Goldenrod gasp in surprise.
GOLDENROD: Cobalt, you can't!
COBALT: Quiet, Goldenrod. I have no other choice.
Wizard finally regains his breath and stutters at Cobalt.
WIZARD: Y-you mean to say that you'll actually m-m-m-marry me?
COBALT: *sobs* Yes!
WIZARD: And all I have to do is release my cousins for you to do it?
COBALT: *sobs* Yes!
WIZARD: And then you're really going to spend the rest of eternity in holy matrimony with me?
COBALT: *sobs* Yes! Yes! Yes!
WIZARD: HOT DOG! YIPPITY-YI-YAY! COME ON, Y'ALL! LET'S GO SAVE MY COUSINS BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!
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The scene changes back to the attic where all three of the brothers now sit motionless.
The door bursts open and Wizard, Fast, Goldenrod, and Cobalt rush in.
WIZARD: OH NO! THEY'RE ALMOST DEAD! QUICK! SOMEBODY TURN THAT TRASH OFF WHILE I UNTIE THEM!
Fast speeds over to the television set and turns "Tea Time With Mandy" off while Wizard points his staff at the three brothers and makes their chains disappear.
COBALT: BLUE! GREEN! ORANGE! ARE YOU GUYS OKAY?!
BLUE: Ulllllll.....
GOLDENROD: HE'S ALIVE! OH, JOY TO THE WORLD!
Slowly, Green also starts to come back.
GREEN: Ohhh... where are we? Are we dead?
BLUE: No... we are still in the attic...
A groggy Blue looks up and sees Cobalt.
BLUE: Oh geez. I am in enough pain without you here.
COBALT: Grrrrr!
FAST: Axem Fast says, "Wait a minute! Axem Orange hasn't said anything yet!"
BLUE, GREEN, COBALT, WIZARD, and GOLDENROD: ORANGE!
Blue and Green quickly leap from their chairs and rush to Orange who still sits motionless.
