((Stop reading if you've heard this before))

Hello Halo fans! It's me, Master Chief. I'm 7 feet tall, and while I didn't invent Ass-Kicking, I DAMN sure perfected it! It's time for some Halo 3 gaming advice.

So, let's say you and your team of marines are pinned down while a swarm of Covenant scum advance on your position, including a Bigass Brute with a Gravity-Hammer he's DYING to give you a prostate exam with!

So you stand there emptying clip after clip from your bullet-hose into the hairy psychopath, trying desperatly to blow his God-damned head into something about the consistency of toothpaste before he has the chance to launch you into a low-grade orbit with his R@apestick.

If one of your teammates--And I use the term in it's absolute broadest sense-- wanders into your line of fire, absorbing 16 rounds of your rapidly depleting ammunition, and then has the audacity to turn to you and b**ch about it, screaming something like "Hey, same team!", you have my FULL permission to risk a Gravity-Hammer induced @nal fissure and take the time to pistol-whip young Private Targetface until he stops twitching!

Look at it this way: If he's dumb enough to wander mindlessly into your line of fire, then he might also be so desperatly brain damaged that he'd drop a Plasma grenade onto his own shoe and run directly to YOU for assistance!

Cut your losses, put a Brute Brick on the inside of his face and hope to Hell you still have enough time to jam a Spike grenade into the eye of the now dangerously close Covenant Brute.

That's it, I'm done. Master Chief out... *mumbling* I mean, DAMMIT man, wouldn't basic training at least give a breif lecture about not standing in front of a firing weapon?!