Hey man. Hopefully the forum will let this post slide. I know I will.

I know exactly what you mean about getting infatuated with a girl. During the past five years or so, I have had that sort of feeling over a few girls. The most recent being the longest. Perhaps you reached a point where you tried to give up hope for the better, but then that one conversation of thought throws you back in there. However as much as it will pain you, I advise you to forget it. For now.

Concentrate on yourself. I know people say looks aren’t everything, but they are some what important. Get yourself in shape and look your best at all times. If you look good, you will feel good. Have some confidence in yourself socially. Get a few interests, maybe hobbies and become more outgoing. Keep busy and keep happy. Eventually you may reach a point where you are content with yourself and your situation. By then you may even have a shot with this girl, or even another. My advice is to simply work on yourself. Good luck.

Look man, I was in the same place you are a few years ago. I think all of us were at some point. I met a girl when I was young that was outgoing and I thought gave me a lot of attention because of her personality. She actually did like me when we were younger. I think that might be the case with the girl you're talking about, too. But it sounds like they're the same kind of girl. These kind of people are very outgoing, they give everyone a lot of attention. You may recognize it as special attention because you, like me, didn't get much attention from anyone. She may have also liked you at some point. But when girls like that like you, it's not as big a deal for them as it is for you. They like you for a while, then they move on if you don't respond to them fast enough, and soon they forget about you entirely while you continue to obsess over them. They're flighty. And you may think it's cruel that she acts like she doesn't know you now, but she doesn't mean anything by it. I'm sure you've met people that you had a relationship with earlier that you stopped talking to and don't really think about at all now. You may obsess over her, but she has her own life, and a lot is probably going on in it, and you didn't talk to her last year, so she's most likely forgotten you. It's harsh, but it's true.

Anyway, back to the girl I was talking about. She liked me when we were younger and I liked her. Over the years I thought I grew to "love" her, but we lost touch for a while. We met again in junior year (wow, same year you're in) and she acted like she didn't know me. I was heartbroken and stuff, how day she ignore me, we were friends when we were two or something, blah blah blah. I was too infatuated to realize that it had been a long time since we'd talked, and she had moved on with her life. I called her a few times, and we talked normally, and she was nice, and we actually had a friendship again for a little while. Eventually I got some new friends and stopped calling her. It's a year and a half later now and I never even think about her anymore. Hell, I'd completely forgotten about her until just now. You think you're in love with someone for years and then you completely forget about them. Yeah.

The point is, she forgot about you because she has a busy life and a lot goes on in it. To be fair, she hasn't completely forgotten about you and if you talked to her she'd probably remember you somewhat. She doesn't ignore you on purpose, she doesn't really even ignore you, she's just too busy to see a reason to talk to you. To get over her you need to do the same thing. You need to (not to sound harsh) get a life, make some friends, start hanging out with people, start doing stuff. Soon enough you'll forget all about her. And don't tell me it's different because you're in love with her, because you aren't. I would've said the same thing if someone had responded this way to me, so maybe you have to figure it out for yourself, but just take my advice. Get out there and make some new friends, do stuff, whatever. It's not as hard as it sounds.

We've all been there.

I could write an essay on this, but I'll keep it short.

If you think she's interested in you NOW, then do something about it NOW.

If not, then you'll have to move on. It may be difficult, but it's for the best. In my experience, I kept having dreams about a particular girl (who had a boyfriend) which made me feel like shit the day after. But I got over it eventually. Infatuation with one girl makes you blind to all the others. Infatuation may also make you blind to her bad qualities, and to the good qualities of other girls. Infatuation is a form of delusion.

I know it's very difficult. But your choices are either to pluck up significant courage and do something about it (i.e. talk to her about it). Or you get rid of your affection for her. It's no easy task, but it is possible. If you distance yourself from someone, usually the infatuation goes.

The bullying stops once you leave school. I promise you. Or if you do encounter bullies in adulthood, you can tell them to fuck off without any worries. They're the scum of the Earth. You're far better than they are, so always keep that in mind.

Hey, look out, I'm going to jump on the bandwagon.

Yes - I would say we have all been there. Early teenage years can be tough for someone on your end of the social spectrum - I know, I was there too. I hated things at that age I suppose.

I had a few infatuations at that age. It is difficult. I think a lot of the trouble stems from the mystery or the romantic idealism? The young male mind is not well adapted to deal with the sudden rush of hormones.

At that age it is easy to interpret almost anything as some sort of flirtation. And sometimes it really is, and other times it isn't. And honestly - girls are oftentimes experimenting with the boundaries of flirtation at that age, and can lead guys the wrong way unintentionally. They learn though. Most of them.

It all sort of passes though once you get into an actual relationship. At least it did with me. That was a few years ago now... strange to think how time flies... But once that is out of your system I think it becomes easier to deal with.

However that is round about the time I became a Christian, so... maybe I have had a different experience. Which basically ended up with me stopping messing around with girls... eventually. Took a while to break out of, turning away advances and things.

Anyway, now... yeah. Things are quite smooth. You stop having those sort of youthful infatuations when you hit sixteen. At least I did.

Hope that helps...

... same as everyone else I guess.

Thanks for the advice guys. I don't know why I am disliked by so many people I encounter through my life, or at least I use to. I was shy and never really annoyed anyone like the other jerks did. When it comes to looks, I'm in great shape, I'm tall. The bad things are that I have acne and maybe my nose is a bit big? That is probably why I have been perceived that way. It's like I'm not worth taking seriously. I have wavy hair and I heard that wavy hair is unattractive compared to straight hair, but that doesn't mean curly hair guys never get dates so... I don't know what my real turn off is.

Shyness is often enough for people to pick on. It's a target the bully knows poses no threat. So there's nothing at all wrong with you. Don't try to look for it, because it's not there. You just have a personality type that idiots like to pick on, but that doesn't make the personality type defective in any way. Screw them, because give it a few years and they'll be out of your life.

I would say your lack of confidence is the “turn off.” But that is not really your fault as I would guess most would want to be confident and charming and would want to have the typical All-American looks if was a choice. Most I say because there are some of us who enjoy our individuality.

Shinterman. Listen to me. It is people that you that have the most potential in the world and have the highest hopes to ever grow and change. It is people like you that know what it feels like to be at the very bottom of life and so will be able to appreciate the view when you scale your way on top. You sound like a fairly intelligent person as well as a good human being, don’t worry so much about your looks as those are the things that with help and some work can easily change and be improved over time. The way people think, the way people feel and the way they are inside… that is the hard part to change about someone. Humility, kindness, fairness and appreciation are things you learn and pick up through life and you cannot always learn those things unless you go through some bad things first. So you can see why changing what you are inside is a lot harder than changing who you are outside. You as a person already went and are going through the hard part in life, the rest only gets better and easier.

Love the fact that you‘re not perfect. Love your imperfections. If you were perfect you wouldn’t have anything else to strive for. You would have nothing else to dream for, nothing else to wish for. That my friend is a sad life.

We have all been through those type of moments. We have all been through hardships and bad days… months… and even years. But if you learn from it all and grow from those experience and become a better person at the end, then you become hope for a world’s future that only seems to be getting filled with bad.

Love your individuality because it is the one thing you can count on and have that lets you stand out from 6.6 billion people.

Spot on U2. Couldn't agree more.

You have to be assertive and not take shit from people that make fun of you. Don't be one of the people that take it and just look at the ground.

As for your girl trouble, I would suggest trying to do something about your acne and dressing nice. Try to make yourself seem outgoing and friendly but whatever you do, don't be fake and put on an act for other people. If the girl's not into you then forget her and go on to the next one.

I would guess most would want to be confident and charming and would want to have the typical All-American looks if was a choice.

http://tiny.cc/d7Hj7

I think I'll pass!